Mar 16, 2012
I still had nightmares about my wedding weeks and months after it was over. Its finally fading into the past. I have finally convinced myself that theres nothing I could do now. Its over. It wasn't a complete nightmare, actually far from it. It was a good wedding but so many little details went wrong. The problem is I had too many expectations like most brides. The one thing I do still regret till this day is that I had gone to my aunts house to get ready with all my family and bridesmaids instead of staying alone with my mother in a hotel room with my hair and makeup artists. I missed out on all the family chaos and girls getting ready and the bonds... Instead I felt kind of lonely (if that makes sense), stressed out, and completely out of it. Sometimes I even wish I could do it again. Sounds crazy since to so many people my wedding was "beautiful." But in reality, inside I was in commotion, so many little details left out, my husband didn't even get his mother and son dance and neither did I with my father. There was no toast. To the professional eye- it was completely disorganized. However that's the past and I need to leave it behind. I have realized its okay not to be happy about the way your wedding turned out, what you have to be happy about is that you marry the man you love. And so hopefully my marriage would be the opposite of what I felt that day- so instead of chaos, pressure, stress, and "alone", it will be tranquil, loving,"together," happy, and beautiful.