May 28, 2010


Time will pass. Phrase so often used. Time will heal the pain.
Yet air breathe through battered lungs, soiled oxygen that surrounds us every second drying my skin more and more, Consenting myself to have these polluted airs infiltrate my body and mind deadening me inside and out,
Time has passed, yet the soreness has remain, your soft eyes, watching me remain somewhere in the distant of this arctic world with impure minds breathing in more and more the fabrication of what was once truth, and yet time will pass...
I breathe and I bleed, and when I close my eyes all I see is your face

June 12, 2007 by yours truly
note: I had written this a while ago when I was going through some tough situations. I just felt like reminding myself how good I have it now. It seems like this piece was written centuries ago by whoever I was before. I still love how well I described exactly what I felt. Sometimes our most difficult situations bring out the best written pieces. 

May 27, 2010

the cutest kitchen ever

ok so maybe not ever, but its still the cutest I've seen so far :). I just love cooking. I love chopping up peppers and onions, all the colors, ingredients, and flavors. It feels so good when I prepare a big meal for friends and family and they empty their whole plates and ask for more. That's why a lovely little kitchen of my own is a dream I'm still waiting for...

Unfortunately I do not have the source of these pictures, these where saved on my folder :/
Update: found these are from the homes of diana and lisel of the jewels of new york
Read more at Design*Sponge
OMG how exciting is it to find out this is actually right next door to me? I would've thought this was somewhere far maybe Savannah, Georgia but never would've imagine it was my next door neighbor brooklyn, n.y (ahh New york I love you!) Check out the rest of their home, just plain beautiful

May 26, 2010

I want to go away

Fill up my bag with pretty summer things and go somewhere far,
somewhere hot and humid and wear only dresses and shorts
I want to put the top of the car down put my feet up while the boy drives far
I'll take my books and read on the road and sing with the radio
just drive and drive to somewhere with white fences and green backyards
a little bed  & breakfast doesn't even need to have a beach nearby,
just as long as its far away from all this noise, all these strangers with no smiles
somewhere quite, slow
I need this. I need to go somewhere far, just for a little while

May 21, 2010

I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)

I carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it (anywhere i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear no fate(for you are my fate, my sweet)
i want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; 
which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (i carry it in my heart) 

-ee cummings 

image with girl opening present with the pink balloons is me and my sisters, other images from here

May 20, 2010

turn your scars into stars

"On the girl's brown legs there were many small white scars. I was thinking, Do those scars cover the whole of you, like the stars and the moons on your dress? I thought that would be pretty too, and I ask you right here please to agree with me that a scar is never ugly. That is what the scar makers want us to think. But you and I, we must make an agreement to defy them. We must see all scars as beauty. Okay? This will be our secret. Because take it from me, a scar does not form on the dying. A scar means, I survived."
-Chris Cleave (Little Bee)

This quote is just so beautiful, and I can identify completely. I will have to read this book. I have a few scars, and now three new ones on my abdomen. I've never seen them as ugly scars, but beautiful pink marks that remind me of what I've been through but also that I am still here. And the biggest one, my kidney transplant scar, which reminds me like the quote- that I survived. How can that not be beautiful?
My four-year-old godson has one on his chest (from his heart surgery) It is the most beautiful scar I've ever seen ♥

thank you Nabilah I wouldn't have known about this quote if it wasnt for your lovely blog xo The heading "turn your scars into stars" is also hers. Lovely isn't?
image from here

May 17, 2010

So today...

I went up to the park with the best friend and my gorgeous God daughter. If I tell you I had a good time, I would be lying. It is beyond words how good I felt up in that park today. The garden, with all its wild flowers and roses, is truly breath-taking. The fresh air, the chilly yet warm enough wind in my face was just perfect. I missed going up there so much, especially with a good friend to share some good conversation with and a tiny little doll walking up and down full of smiles.

I'm finally fully recovered after surgery. And my attitude is so much better. I thought I was falling under depression, and just didn't want to admit it to myself or anyone else, or even blog about it. Silly me, I forgot anesthesia sometimes does this and it takes a while for the emotions to settle back down again. I would find myself crying with every actress and actor on t.v. Anything sad, my tears will come running down. My pills are also back to what I used to take before which I'm so glad. The other medication had some side-effects I was just not used to- had me tired, down and moody. But all that is gone now. I'm feeling like my old cheery self again. Even better, summer is just around the corner, enough to make me want to do cartwheels and backflips ;D

May 16, 2010


"La vida no es esperar a que pase la tormente, es aprender a bailar bajo la lluvia."

picture source here

May 12, 2010

looks like a brighter day

or was is it just my mail? Woke up on the right sunny side of the bed, and when I opened up my mailbox I got some pretty little packages. In between all those bills and junk mail, there were too scribble packages addressed to little old me :) Oh how happy and curious I got is beyond description. One was a little something I had won on ebay and the other was a letter from my best friend (she read my "letters in the mail" blog here) How sweet is she? Guess I will be writing some thankyou letters soon :)
for pictures source click here

May 11, 2010

sick :/

I'm down with a sore throat, but of course, so is about every New Yorker with this spontaneous weather. One week it felt like summer rather than spring, and this week feels like middle of winter. I hate winter, I do. I only like it around christmas time, the snow, the twinkling lights, but other than that I HATE winter, and I can finally say it. Yes, I do. I can't even swallow. It hurts. My body hurts, my head hurts, everything hurts. And worst, tomorrow I have to go to the hospital and wait in the waiting room for hours for them to take off my stitches -_-

May 8, 2010

Strawberry Shorcake & PinkBerry

so on Thursday the boyfriend actually drove me all the way to what seem the other side of New York so I could actually buy Lula. I have only seen it online, and always wanted to see it in person, but its almost impossible to find. I love the idea of a magazine with hardly any ads, and just filled with beautiful, sometimes whimsical spreads. Its just so girly and beautiful. So my first Lula magazine is issue #10 inspired by no other than Strawberry Shortcake characters, which seem so appropriate being that I love Strawberry Shortcake and it was theme for my very first birthday ^_^
                         Strawberry Shortcake                           Raspberry Tart
                                Lime Chiffon                                      Lemon Meringue
                                       Blueberry Muffin                                   Plum Pudding
The store had every single cover except the Chanel cover (Orange Blossom). I love Strawberry Shortcake and Lemon Meringue, but the covers were a little damaged so I chose Blueberry Muffin and Raspberry Tart. One is for a friend and the other for myself. Why can't U.S. magazines have covers like this again, so plain and simple without all the blabbering in the front? I love how simple and pretty Lula is inside and outside without all the clutter magazines usually have.

After, the boyfriend and I went to Pinkberry <3.  Omg how much I love this words cannot describe. I had the original with blueberries, can you say heaven? We ended the day by watching a movie and ordered dinner inside. I'm still recuperating from my surgery, so we had a lazy day since we were going to do some serious summer shopping on Friday.

On other news, I'm still a little upset I wasn't there for my best friend's baby first birthday. She told me the party did not go as planned and everything that could go wrong went wrong. I feel that even if I couldn't go (doctor's advise) I should have helped somehow. It was her very first birthday and I won't be in any picture. But I'm going to make sure I'm there for every other birthday to come. I adore that little girl, she has stolen my heart. 

May 3, 2010

summer picnics

Finally it feels like summer here in New York, and with 90 degree weather two days ago, well spring is certainly feeling more like summer. I have been waiting for these hot summer days since Christmas. I'm just not a fan of winter. I hate wearing all these layers of clothes and much rather slip a little dress, some sandals and be out the door. Ahh I cannot wait to have some picnics with the girls. I went to a barbecue with the boyfriend and some of his friends this past weekend, but now I just can't wait to have a lovely picnic with my girlfriends and catch on some girl-talk. 

May 1, 2010

childhood novelas

Daniella Lujan in "Luz Clarita"
When I was a little girl I remember sitting with the family to watch the "novela." I remember my grandmother or aunt trying to finish as fast as possible whatever they were doing because the "novela" was about to start. If you too come from a spanish speaking family then you understand me. It was a big deal. Thinking about it, it was a good way for the whole family to come together. Even the boys and fathers would sit for this one. Novela is spanish for Soap Opera. They majority of spanish Soap Operas last no more than a year. The first novela I remember watching was "Rosa Salvaje" and until this very day I can sing the theme song and so can my sisters and cousins and friends, I was only about five years old. I think later on that year I watched "Carusel de Ninos." I stopped watching novelas around ten or so. I became too engrossed with english-speaking shows like "Blossom," "Saved by the Bell," "90210," and others- well, you remember them. "Luz Clarita" (picture above) I actually watched when I was already in my pre-teen years, maybe around 12 or so because the young actress intrigued me. She was so litttle and cute and did such an amazing job, it was a way for me to remember those simpler days and reminisce over my Novela days. And it was the very last novela I watched. I came upon an article the other day about Luz Clarita and was amazed that the article was written by a non-spanish speaking woman. She had to watch it with english-subtitles. It was her favorite of all time. After doing some search, I found out a lot of other people had watched many of my favorite novelas, including "Luz Clarita" and "Alondra" with subtitles. I'm amazed how big these little novelas were, that so many non-spanish speaking countries were able to catch this little treasures with either French, English or even Chinese subtitles among many others.

(image from "Alondra")
Alondra had to be my favorite of all time, like "Luz Clarita," Alondra was also an orphan. I guess I always related a little too much to these stories, since I lived with my aunt, uncle and cousins for four years in Quisqueya until I was eight. Every tear they shed, I was shedding with them. I just waited and loved the happy endings and along with the gorgeous costumes and settings in Alondra, I don't think another novela will come close to it in my heart.
But of course the one that I can never forget is "El Abuelo y yo." About a poor little boy and a rich little girl who end up falling in love (yes, one of the typical storylines for spanish Soap Operas). I was about the same age as the characters and their falling-in-love-for-the-first-time and sharing-their-first-kiss-for-the-first-time moments just reach down to me. I related completely and of course I had a terrible crush on Gael GarcĂ­a Bernal, which went on for years as he crossed over to Hollywood movies. What made "El Abuelo y Yo" touch my heart so profoundly was that I was never able to finish watching it. It started at a late hour in the night over one summer in n.y.c, and once school started my mother would not let me watch it. Last year when I went to Quisqueya, I could not believe when I heard the familiar theme song playing, I went over to the t.v. and there it was. Of course, it was only a few days before I had to come back to N.Y. I cannot add a picture to explain this, and the theme entry video cannot summarized the tender moments in this novela but I'm hoping it helps a bit:

Ahh to be a child again and fall in love, theres nothing more innocence, nerve-wrecking, thrilling and sweet all at the same time