Look to see things in new ways,

even if nothing has changed.

Let it Go

Sometimes its time to let go....

Sometimes we want to hold on to the people we love so much that we don't realize its time to let go. I am not only talking the boyfriends or girlfriends or exlovers or whatever the case may be, but also about friends and family. 

Sometimes you grow so far apart that to let each other grow you must let go.

It doesn't mean that you stop caring, or that you don't love them anymore, but that the relationship is draining, and you realize that at the end there were more arguments than laughs, and being with them only hurts you.

Today I had a dream of you. You called and you were crying. I couldn't hear you. You sounded so far. I asked again what happened and your voice sounded like sobs and weeps. You sounded so desperately in pain. I couln't understand what you were trying to say, it cut off and on and it was just too far. The call dropped and I, as desperately as you sounded, desperately tried to call you back and explained my phone is old and drops the calls, and that I would never hang up on you crying, because I knew you would take that the wrong way. I checked where you called me from but the numbers danced around in my cellphone, I couldn't grabbed them, they haunted me along with your pain. I needed to call you back, I needed to know why you were in so much pain and I needed to help you somehow. I was stressed, drained, anxious to catch the numbers that mockinly danced on the screen of my cell. And then I realized, they were gone, for I had deleted your number a while ago, and my screen remained empty. I panicked, I eagerly checked and checked somehow to find where to reach you, but I couldn't and in the panic of my search- I woke up. 

And I realized what my dream meant and as harsh as it may seem I was relieve- relieve that you weren't draining me anymore...relieve that 

I let go...

Spa at Home

Want healthy smooth clear skin with smaller pores? Keep reading to find out how.

For reference I have combination skin, which tends to be drier in the winter season and a little more oily on hotter weather. I am very acne-prone (I use a prescribed cream for this issue) but with my daily routine my skin is completely clear, smooth, healthy and supple.

Here is one of my holy grail products for beautiful, clear, soft skin:

1. Aztec Healing Mask

This mask is amazing. There are hardly words to describe the miracles this little gem has done on my skin. Clays have been used for centuries in beauty products because they include advantageous minerals that help get rid of toxins such as blackheads and zits and heal and nourish the skin. This mask itself comes in a powder-form that you mix with apple cider vinegar or water. When you use apple cider vinegar you get a much smoother consistency which is super easy to work it, and it also leaves the skin amazingly smooth. However, I prefer water for its convenience and the results are still remarkable. Even though my skin is fairly clear, I still get a zit here or there specially in the summer when my skin tends to be more oily than combination. I use this mask mostly in the summer on my entire face and in the winter mostly around my nose only to tighten the pores. Every time I use it, I literally see the difference, if I have a zit it seems to reduce the size and appearance, and by the next day it is dried up and gone. When on, the mask gets so tight you literally cannot move your face at all, and don't even think about smiling or talking. It gets so tight you feel your pores shrinking- this mask is no joke! So readers beware- it may hurt a tiny bit- it literally feels like cement on your face, and you actually feel your face pulsing! Once washed off, don't worry about the redness, it will be gone in 20 minutes or so. So make sure you stay indoors for the next thirty minutes. I usually do this in the nighttime before going to bed and I feel my face just thanks me in the morning, my face is left amazingly smooth and tight and I can immediately see a difference in the size of pores and in any zits if present.  It is my number one Skincare staple.

First (for my little spa treatment) I like to fill a kitchen pot with hot water and let it boil. After it is boiling I place my face next to it for a few seconds- this opens up the pores. I then clean my face with my favorite scrub to get rid of any dirt and have a clean, clear canvas to work with before applying my Aztec healing mask. I then proceed to put on the mask which I leave for 30 minutes or so or until completely dry. I then wash my face with a wet towel and make sure I get rid of every little bit of trace of the mask. And then I'm ready to hop into bed and wake up to beautiful, clearer, softer skin :)

(More info on the following products soon)

2. Tazorac

Every other day

3. Ole Henriksen African Red Tea Foaming Cleanser

Every morning and night

4. Biore Pore Unclogging Facial Scrub

Twice a week

5. Dickinson's Original Witch Hazel Pore Perfecting Toner

About 3x a week after morning cleanser

6. Ceraphil Moisturizing Lotion

Every day in the winter, every other day in the summer

7. Biore Skin Preservation Dual Fusion Moisturizer with SPF 30

Every day I'm stepping out of the house.

7. Lots of water

And fruits and vegetables are always a plus too ;)

Dreamy Bokeh Effect

Here is my broad tutorial on the Dreamy Boken Effect

1.Select Picture of your choice. 

I will be working with a random picture below:

(Not necessarily a pretty picture but just to see the effects)

2. Get a Bokeh picture of your choice. You can go on google for this and just type Bokeh Picture.

I chose the same Boken picture as a A Piece of Lisa.

3.Open new layer and drag Bokeh picture on top of picture of your choice.

4. Change your Bokeh layer from "normal" to "screen." 

5. Change opacity to desire level. I chose 75% or so.

6. Play around with layer size and position until desired results.

Here are my results:

I followed A Piece of Lisa's tutorial. Check it out for more information and precise steps :)

You can also add bokeh hearts for a romantic dreamy effect. Here is one I tried:

Tip: I also have found that these effects looks best on soft pictures unlike bright color pictures. Try to pick a neutral picture with soft backgrounds for a more dreamy effect ;)

Color lights Rainbow effect

1.Open up picture of your choice.

2.If the picture of your choice is already in color skip the next step and go to step 4

3.Since this picture is in black and white change hue and lightness to convert it into a color picture. The picture will still remain black and white. The point of this step is to be able to add color lighting instead of black and white lighting in the next layer, otherwise the lights will remain grayish instead of colorful. 

4. Next, add new layer.

3. Go to gradient tool and I choose the first gradient and then "radial gradient"

4. On the layers section change the opacity of the layer. In here I chose to 16%

And tada your done.

And here it is with the Bokeh Effect (See next post for tutorial):

tomorrow

Wise words to live by...

spring!

wedding nightmares

I still had nightmares about my wedding weeks and months after it was over. Its finally fading into the past. I have finally convinced myself that theres nothing I could do now. Its over. It wasn't a complete nightmare, actually far from it. It was a good wedding but so many little details went wrong. The problem is I had too many expectations like most brides. The one thing I do still regret till this day is that I had gone to my aunts house to get ready with all my family and bridesmaids instead of staying alone with my mother in a hotel room with my hair and makeup artists. I missed out on all the family chaos and girls getting ready and the bonds... Instead I felt kind of lonely (if that makes sense), stressed out, and completely out of it. Sometimes I even wish I could do it again. Sounds crazy since to so many people my wedding was "beautiful." But in reality, inside I was in commotion, so many little details left out, my husband didn't even get his mother and son dance and neither did I with my father. There was no toast. To the professional eye- it was completely disorganized. However that's the past and I need to leave it behind.  I have realized its okay not to be happy about the way your wedding turned out, what you have to be happy about is that you marry the man you love. And so hopefully my marriage would be the opposite of what I felt that day- so instead of chaos, pressure, stress, and "alone", it will be tranquil, loving,"together," happy, and beautiful.