wedding nightmares

I still had nightmares about my wedding weeks and months after it was over. Its finally fading into the past. I have finally convinced myself that theres nothing I could do now. Its over. It wasn't a complete nightmare, actually far from it. It was a good wedding but so many little details went wrong. The problem is I had too many expectations like most brides. The one thing I do still regret till this day is that I had gone to my aunts house to get ready with all my family and bridesmaids instead of staying alone with my mother in a hotel room with my hair and makeup artists. I missed out on all the family chaos and girls getting ready and the bonds... Instead I felt kind of lonely (if that makes sense), stressed out, and completely out of it. Sometimes I even wish I could do it again. Sounds crazy since to so many people my wedding was "beautiful." But in reality, inside I was in commotion, so many little details left out, my husband didn't even get his mother and son dance and neither did I with my father. There was no toast. To the professional eye- it was completely disorganized. However that's the past and I need to leave it behind.  I have realized its okay not to be happy about the way your wedding turned out, what you have to be happy about is that you marry the man you love. And so hopefully my marriage would be the opposite of what I felt that day- so instead of chaos, pressure, stress, and "alone", it will be tranquil, loving,"together," happy, and beautiful.

Dear Happiness,

would you stay here for a while? I have missed you so. And while you're here can you bring along relaxation with you? Thank you so much ^_^

I've had a few of those weeks where everything comes to perspective. Here I am planning this wedding, making sure every detail is perfect, and then something happens that makes you realize its not that important. Yes, I am getting married for the first time and hopefully the only time, but after this day the whole world will remain the same. My life may change, so will my fiancee's, and maybe our family members who will miss saying goodnight and seeing our grumpy faces in the breakfast table in the mornings, but about everything else will remain the same. There are so many things in this world, so many kids starving, so many people with no homes, so many illnesses, so many deaths. And sometimes, just sometimes, you think, "is this all worth it?" Spending so much money on one event when there are so many that don't even have enough for a meal, their medicine? My friend answered this with: "Yes, it is. This is your day. And there will always be people suffering wether you get married or not, whether you throw a party or not. A lot of people can't afford this, but if you can then why not? You are not spending millions on it like so many other do. As long as it's a reasonable budget like you want, then what's the big deal? You deserve this." Simple words, but yet it helped me so much. But one thing is for sure, my wedding is going to be simple. Tasteful, elegant but nothing grand. We have a budget for it and we are not planning to go over it. Because at the end of the day, yes this is our day, but I never want to have the feeling that it was too much. Just a day to have fun, dance, eat and share our happiness with those we love. And then one day, when I start working again, I can give a little something at least once a month to an organization that helps others. Because that is what will make me completely happy. Its something that has always been in the back of my mind, to someday give back, and I can't wait for that day that I can put that little money in that envelope and help bring a smile to someone's face. And for now, I am happy that when that day comes I will get to do it standing next to my other half ^_^

final decision on flowergirls dresses

-The ballerina style dress with tulle skirt, thin straps, low back, little buttons and big bow at the back. White/ivory dress with pastel color bows and ballerina flats.

*Sorry for these random posts but since my wedding is a destination wedding many of my bridal party lives away and I most post this little random facts for them to be able to see and then email me or call or share their thoughts. Thanks for sharing your thoughts too girls, you are all amazing :)

inspiration for the flowergirls

NOTES:

-The Ballerina dress style which consists of little thin straps and tulle skirt.

-ivory white dress

-The band/bow of the dress the color of the ballerina flats (ballerina pink, lilac, whitish green?) If not, all white.

-Ankle length 3/4

-hair down with flower wreath (large flowers look best) as first two pictures.

the perfect bridal shower

source

Now isn't that just gorgeous? I saw this simple bridal shower that one bridesmaids put together for her bride-to-be bestfriend and it was absolutely beautiful. I just love how easy it can be achieved and that it actually took place in a park. I wish I can find the original picture but this one from h&m is the perfect inspiration picture. To achieve this all you need is:

- a few bright balloons or paper latterns which retail for about $10 for a package of 4 or 5. 

-A few old borrowed colorful blankets, sheets and pillows. 

-A table or two to place snacks/drinks on (preferably cupcakes yum!)

-A tablecloth or two to achieve a more "whimsical" look

Now ask all your friends to bring in drinks/snacks/cups/plates/napkins/ice

And ta-da your all done, and this pretty look is all achieved with less than $50 dollars! Now um all I need is for one of my friends to get engaged as soon as possible so I can do all this :) I can't wait to be on the other end being a bridesmaids!

I scream, you scream

WE ALL SCREAM FOR BRIDESMAIDS!

haha yup! This is how excited I get everytime I get good news about my bridal party and guests. So heres the story.
I had first decided I wasn't going to have a lot of bridesmaids. I was going to do the official thing done in Quisqueya- which is to have the young/single girls as bridesmaids. And since I am the youngest from my generation this meant I would only have two younger cousins as my bridesmaids along with my little sister who is 18. My maid-of-honor is my oldest sister who is already married with kids. And of course my flowergirl will be Anabella. I wanted as many flowergirls as possible, always did, always will. However there are not many girls in the family that are young enough to be flowergirls yet old enough to do it, so I am only left with two. Nevertheless, let me tell you these are two of the prettiest, sweetest girls you will ever laid eyes on and this will be enough to get all the oohs and ahhs and maybe even some ooh-la-las, yep Anabella who just turned four and Ana Amelia who is 3 are just that adorable! Now, I had assumed my bridal party was complete and that all my friends were fine with this, especifically since one of my friends (who is older than me) had expressed she didn't want to be a bridesmaids AT ALL. As a matter of fact, before I had announced anything early in the days, she said she did not want to be a bridesmaids at all and to please not make her be one because she already felt too old to be one and she likes having the choice to choose whatever she wants to wear. I was fine with this and assumed my friends felt the same. How silly of me huh? It wasn't until my mother expressed some girls might still want to be bridesmaids that I thought "Oh My God what was I thinking?" To make the story short: I asked, they said yes, I went from three bridesmaids to nine! Yeap, thats right- Nine of my closest girls to be there with me, and I couldn't be happier. However, the problem now is that the seamstress who lives in Quisqueya will not have time to do all these dresses and I don't know what to do :/

Royal Wedding Bridesmaids

Eliza Lopes waving to the cameras

Okay okay, I know, Catherine Middleton looked absolutely gorgeous in her dress. But I'm not going to post on that, not only because thousands of others blogs have so and theres no reason on me to repeat history, but because seriously someone had to do a post of these tiny little beauties. Come on, look at that face! Apart from maybe being a bit overtired, how adorable did these little girls look waving to the public? Ah that face! Eliza Lopes (who by the way can be one of Angelina's and Brad Pitt's daughter just saying) along with all the other bridesmaids looked absolutely adorable. I thought it was so sweet for Prince William and Katherine Middletown (or should I now say Princess Katherine?) to choose all her bridesmaids to be young girls. I myself, will not only be having one flowergirl but three, and if it was up to me I wanted even more, however there are no other age-appropriate girls that I know :(. Did you, or would you like to have children take part of your wedding party?

braids and nose-kisses

Isn't this braid hairstyle just beautiful? I'm just not sure its wearable at all, or even possible to make unless you have extremely long hair. Nevertheless its pretty amazing huh?

And check out this gorgoeus laid-back wedding, seriously you just have to! At OnceWed.com

Ruffledblog also featured it here

my bohemian style is loosing its roots...

Finding a dress is really not that hard at all, specially in New York City. But finding thee* dress is a completely different story. My first thought was to rent it. Yeah, I know it may sound strange. But in the island where I was born and where I will be getting married it is actually pretty common thing to do. Don't get me wrong, in this little island people will waste thousands and thousands of dollars at every single detail of the wedding yet the dress is the most inexpensive thing since it is most likely rented. It makes sense after all, its only a dress that you are going to wear once, and most probably by the time your daughter gets married she will want something new and in style. So this was not a big deal to me, I went to D.R expecting to rent a dress. However it was not that easy. I don't consider myself picky, if anything I just wanted a simple dress. But this was not the case. After browsing a few stores I found nothing. And the dress I did like, was pretty simple for the type of wedding we will be having. I liked it, and I would have been fine with it. It looks pretty much like the dress in the picture, except it is a bit teeny weeny more elegant. Its has more layers of the soft organza material making it more flowy. It feels like walking on clouds. And it also has many little details at the waist. However, my mother and my aunt where not pleased. I have noticed in Quisqueya, wedding dresses tend to be very elegant (yes even rented ones), so my dress compared to the wedding would look a bit too common. I know I'm the one who has to like the dress. However, I was not in love with the dress. It was just the best I can find, and when I saw my mother's face I knew it was not the one, even after she said "it is very pretty, beautiful actually however I'm not sure its the one." Now I am here back in New York City, the city of fashion, where yes there are countless of dresses, but finding one can be so much harder. I feel sometimes my wedding is taking a completely different style from what I originally wanted. My style is very bohomian with a bit of a chic-modern twist to it, however this wedding is becoming very elegant, chic and modern and I just hope I find ways to incorporate a bit of that boho-chic into it :/

Isn't this Los Angeles wedding picture just beautiful? The behemian style of the bride just made it so dreamy. View the rest of it at StyleMePretty

both images from the same wedding at StyleMePretty

don't forget...

I want a beautiful simple wedding with all my loved ones.  But sometimes with all the stress and turbulence and deciding on which centerpiece I want, and either the white or silver tiffany chairs, and how much will the cake be, and everything else we forget what this day is all about- Love. So simple, it is my day and my mister's day. Not about how many flowers I had, or how big was my cake, or what color were my bridesmaids dresses. I just want to be happy. And its just that simple.

Photograph from StyleMePretty Wedding

and if you don't mind shedding a few tears here you go

Dennis & Patricia (Wedding Trailer) from Winston Tao on Vimeo.

ballet shoes on my wedding list

I've been so busy with the wedding that my plans with blogging have not turned out how I was hoping for. I wanted to post about the progress and everything I'm working on. However, time does not stretch enough. I'm sorry I have abandoned this little space of mine. 

So far, I have the design of the cake, the dress, the invitations, and even the centerpieces. But I still don't have anything if that makes sense :/ I will be traveling to Quisqueya to get together with the wedding planner and the rest of the staff. Wish me luck :)

And while your at it check this gorgeous inspirational shoot here ^_^

ballet shoes on her wedding list

So I think so far I am right on schedule. According to sources at this rate I should be doing my list of guests and choosing my colors. Well I may not have my colors down but I already have many little details figured out. The one thing stressing me out a bit is when I think ahead and wonder how I will be able to do everything just as I want from so far away. Destination weddings I believe are the hardest, unless youre choosing a resort that will do everything for you. I have so many ideas I wish I can just blog it all out at once. So sorry in advance if my little blog turns into a wedding inspiration blog for the rest of the year. For now let me get right back on my hunt for little brass vintage keys ;)

I have a little white secret...

that I need to tell you all- 

and it may be a bit old, and a bit new, and maybe its borrow and maybe its a bit blue

but its all taking place February 14,

Thank you TG for the enchanting news :)

Head on over to BHLDN to find out all about it specially you all brides-to-be 

and even those of you still waiting for Prince Charming ;)

Buba's baptism and a little surprise

So It's a New Year. And I know- I've been MIA since Christmas. As most of you know I went to my little Island to celebrate the holidays and the baptism of my sister's baby boy. The house was full with  all ten of us so I hardly had time to go online with such a full house. It was truly one of the best christmas I've ever experienced. My family is the best. And for some reason, everytime I came into blogger I just skipped and read through some blogs but never felt like blogging myself. I felt that I could not capture into pictures and words the happiness I was experiencing. However, something happened after the holidays that I must share.
As you guys know from two posts ago I was the Godmother at Rafael's Baptism (my sister's baby). During the ceremony, and many dancing, and laughs, and pictures, my sister announced she had a surprise for the godparents. I was completely confused, I'm thinking, "since when do Godparents get surprises?" Nevertheless, the godfather and I stand up and walk to the center of the dancing stage as guided by my brother-in-law who closes both our eyes with his hands and makes us face the wall. After a few seconds I hear everyone clapping and some people shouting and when we turn around I see the mister on his knees holding up a little box- and yes you guessed it- with a beautiful ring inside.

I am officially engaged ♡